Enablers and Deniers!

I think regularly, if not frequently about American Idol auditions. You know there are many folks who "come up in" the audition and "cain't sing a lick!" We all watch and say "They don't have any friends!" "What they mama been sayin' to them" etc.

It is all in the vain that they seem SOOOO confident, indignant in some cases that they are the next Mariah....Luther...but Simon, Randy or Paula, maybe ALL 3 say "NOOOOTTTT!!" This is the point where attitudes start flyin'! "I KNOW I'MO MAKE IT!" "YA'LL JUST HATERS!" F@#$ YOU! I'MA STAR!!" etc...

Let me be clear here. I am talking about folks who CAN"T SING!! No doubt about it, they were meant to be doing something else. Be a teacher, a waiter, a damn candlestick maker, just DON'T sing! But they are in serious denial! Or somebody lied to them...for a loooong time. I am not certain about the reason for the lie, but THEY LIED!!

People. It is one thing to give children what they need to be confident in their ABILITIES, it is a whole other thing to LIE to them about their IN-abilities! Black folk! We have too many obstacles in front of us just on G.P. (general principal) to be adding "ish" to the "ish pot"!

Let us help our children see what is real! The world is not fair for many people. People of color have a long, hard way to go. (Even with BARACK.) So parents lets not add to the struggle by anointing our children with gifts they DO NOT have and awards they have not earned!

I am a middle school teacher in a much needed independent charter school in the Southern California area. Tonight I had a meeting with 8th grade parents about the lack of motivation and achievement exhibited by the class of 2008 in particular. We held the parents of the non-achieving students accountable.

The teachers and administrators were not extracating ourselves from the state of under-achieving that our 8th grade is in, however we were calling the parents to task.
If a child has not turned in 7 homework assignments in the last 3 weeks, there is a problem at home! If the school dress code is posted on the school website, and re-iterated in class and the child is STILL coming to school in "free dress", there is a problem SOMEWHERE!

A few parents became indignant. These were OF COURSE the parents of the worst offenders. " There is favoritism!" "My child had a 4.0 until he got here!"

As I sat there. Looking around the room, trying my best not to "Go Off" on folks who KNOW they are enablers and deniers, I had to consider, what is best for the children?

I want my students to be successful, just as parents want their children to find success. I am CERTAIN the way is not placating and lying. If they can't hold a tune, PLEEEEEZE don't tell them they sound like Chris Brown (or anybody else who can sing). If they can't read on grade level, tell them they need to practice reading until they are fluent. Encourage them to find what they are passionate about and give energy, love and talent to that until they find success, WHILE they are doing the BEST they can in school.

Please don't be an enabler and/or denier, telling your children that they are doing well when they are not. ALL children are good at something. Spend your time with your child nurturing their gifts,and teaching them the expectations of the REAL world instead of holding up their illusions. It will do everyone a world of good!